Grief Indicators

Grief is a word we use to talk about a mix of reactions children and adults may have when a loss is realized.

A child experiencing a loss is experiencing absence. Usually this is an absence that was both unwanted and unacceptable. Children often grieve in small doses and may experience absence from a loss more than once. Children usually don’t tell you they are grieving. You can tell by what they say and do.

Because no two children grieve the same there are no magic formulas to make your caregiving certain or easy. Stages and tasks of grief have been suggested, but they have never been shown to be certain. What we give here are some common reactions that have been observed among children in grief. These common reactions may at times alarm or worry you. When you provide empathy, reassurance, and calm guidance the behaviors and reactions that concern you are likely to subside.

A gauge for whether a problem exists may include:

1. Duration – how long the behavior lasts
2. Intensity – how strong or explosive is the behavior
3. Whether the behavior interferes with anyone’s safety
4. Whether the behavior seriously interrupts the child’s development